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Because people become the most neurotic versions of themselves on their quest for True Love, and that’s totally allowed. Here’s the thing: when asked during in-person meetings, 90% of my clients report having racial preferences. And I’m not just talking about white-on-white preferences.People are entitled to their taste and you can’t help who you fall in love with, right? Which maybe doesn’t sound bad, because I mean, they have other preferences, too. I’m talking about all my clients, only 55% of whom identify as white.A billboard showing a beaming Caucasian woman with a smiling Caucasian man with his arms wrapped around her from behind against a romantic pink-fade-to-purple background would likely have gone unnoticed by Utah freeway drivers as an advertisement any other online dating website—except this one was called Where White People And no, it doesn’t appear to be part of an expensive practical joke or hoax to troll white supremacists.The 53-year-old from Utah runs a car dealership as his prime job, but decided to create Where White People when he was home sick watching daytime television with his wife, Jodi, and noticed a slew of advertisements for race- and religion-specific websites.Russell said, “Black People Meet.com, LDSSingles.com, Farmers Five months later, there’s a site.”This is actually a second marriage for the couple, though Russell said he never tried online dating.

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But there is definitely a reason beyond “they just don’t do it for me.”This is about social forces shaping our preferences, and we’ll never progress without acknowledging that fact. And our society has tacitly decided that those guidelines only apply to your professional life.

Unfortunately, most people feel like attraction is out of their control. So the next time you’re absent-mindedly swiping left, ask yourself why you’re rejecting those profiles.

Like it’s something they’re born with and nothing can be done about it. And if the answer is “attraction,” just imagine me reading this article aloud to you, really close to your face, without modulating the volume of my voice.

But no one will talk about this, because no one likes being called racist.

Except it’s hard for me to find another word to refer to “people making negative assessments of large groups of individuals that they’ve never met, based solely on the color of their skin.”Now, do I think that everyone is lying when they say they’re not attracted to black women or Asian men?

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“Many of the users are smart and attractive; it’s a high quality crowd.” When you’re dating in your 40’s, high quality is just about the best thing you can ask for.

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Instead, you’re seeing the situation through a lens of wishful thinking and sometimes a bit of self-deception.

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